Let's Begin!

Simplify! Is that like semper fi?

We Healers tend to need pretty streamlined lives. And every now and then, it's time to simplify. To simplify requires a certain faithfulness and even a revealing of that which one is truly willing to be faithful to. Semper Fi! I must admit to a certain delight in the image of Marines sailing in to help. I feel certain the job would get done. And with the right supervision, it would be done well.

But there's no getting around the fact that even if the Marines show up I've got to at least supervise this task of simplifying!

I already live in a small town in a very small one bedroom duplex. I don't have "stuff" in terms of the physical world. But I still feel the need and I am committed to simplifying in a few spots as well.

This time the process of simplifying takes place in the mind and heart. (Yes, I see what you mean: the Marines might get lost in this particular landscape! Perhaps they can just stand guard while I do the work and while I'm adjusting to the changes.)

I have been itchy, discontented, even a bit twitchy of late. I feel a great need to move, to forge ahead, to claim something! But - to stay with the Marine analogy - I also feel like I have about 20 fully loaded packs: several on my back, a couple on each limb, one balancing on my head and the rest just piled in front of me. Moving ahead is unlikely. Got to get rid of these packs!

So, I have in the last few weeks spent time perusing them and even rearranging them aesthetically. These packs are not filled with useless clutter or trash. Nope, they hold worthwhile responsibilities, duties and endeavors. You see, I'm very skilled and capable. I'm also highly motivated by community development and worthy causes. There is not one pack here that I can't carry well and enjoy myself while doing so. So eliminating them on the basis of worth will not be helpful.

So I step back and look at the total. My first reaction is a visceral need for a very long nap. Or....? Maybe I could just run awa..., I mean move. But, I'm pretty sure I'd find another 20 packs wherever I go. Some key needs to be found.

I hear myself saying to a client, "Just because you can, doesn't mean you should."

Hmmm? How many of these packs do I carry just because I am able? An honest answer to this question has several packs disappearing. I can facilitate a meeting and do all the details required, but the stress involved robs me of any potential joy. Resign!

Now some of the packs seem to be turning a bit red, like a red herring. Such lovely distractions these are - for the moment. However, I seem to be getting farther and farther away from the goal. When I pick the packs up, it feels like I am helping but when I look at it clearly, I see it as just busy work that neither serves me or the organization I do it for. Another group of packs disappear.

I look at one next to me: "Singing in the choir". It's fun, it's part of my work, it helps the community! Well..., the actual singing is fun. But that's only about 10% of the commitment. The rest of it feels like a burden. Wow, I didn't see that coming! How many others are like this? Shit! Too many. Ok! Ok! I'm purging. It feels like crap quitting on people.... for about 10 minutes. Then I start feeling my energy surge and even sense some creativity perculating. I'm getting the hang of this.

Now I'm down to the last few packs and I'm stumped. These are my work, the things I feel strongly called to do. I can't just toss any of them aside. I'm committed to the work.

"Ask a different question," I hear from a Spirit Guide.

"OK, how can I do my work without feeling burdened?"

"Closer," she encourages, "but keep trying."

"What aspects of my work are sustainable for me over a long period of time?"

"That's a really good start," she declares.

I sit down with the intention of carefully going through each pack to find the answer. I open the first and find it is empty. I put it down with a lot of confusion. From here, it looks filled to the brim. I look inside again and see nothing. "You're going to have to help me here, I tell my Spirit Guide."

Graciously, she smiles and tips the pack upside down. Again, nothing. "You carry your skills around like a pack. You need to learn to understand that they are simply part of you - not something outside of you to carry around and keep track of. You cannot lose these skills any longer. You have developed them beyond the need to constantly attend to them. Holding them outside yourself gives them a weight that soon becomes burdensome. This weighs you down; you're serving the skill instead of the skill being a tool to help you do your work. These packs are empty, release them!"

Three packs now remain. All have value. All speak to me. How do I choose?

"The one that has true heart for you will sit well on your shoulders. It will be, even at it's most challenging, easy to carry. If it comes with heart you will have joy in carrying it. That joy will give you more than carrying that pack will ever take. This is a new lesson for you. It is time for you to choose what you desire, what feeds you, what sustains you."

I have chosen.